what is it?

love?
what is it really?
a word - correct, tick, %100
but what does it really mean?
you love someone, means there important, you get a tingley feeling when your around them, you just get all giggly inside, you smile - and you can't wipe that smile off your face when you see them..
you just have the best memories with them and everything.

then, one of you's end it.
over probably the best reason, or the most pathetic.
both of you are sad, yes your sad. You cry, cry cry cry.
obviously, one of you's don't know what or how you've hurt the person you've loved for awhile.
you give them everything, tell them everything, there the only person you pay attention to. you love them to bits.
you then think thats going to be a memory, never again shared with the boy/girl you love.

you think of the worst, they don't love you anymore, they just have changed there feelings about everything and anything. Regect is a bad word, i myself hate it.

I MYSELF IS GOING THROUGH THIS PAIN RIGHT NOW.

Me and my boyfriend were together for four months - we had broken up of course in that amount of time - but i never knew it was going to end up like this. Me broken.. him i have no idea. I haven't talked to him for a day, i'm going completely nuts. Avril Lavgine i'm listening to, and honestly, thats completely sickning, since she's a fag. But yes, its been over 30 hours now me and him split, and i tell you what i'm a wreck, more then i was before when we both broke up.
Now i think its because i know its for good. There's this girl, completely, pretty. Honestly, she's hell pretty. His ex.... yes. He still has feelings for her, i know it. She makes me feel like the worst person on earth. All thats in my mind lately is him and her, it wont go away. i have dreams about them together. its ridiculous. I'm so broken, my whole body aches.
I never knew how much water, tear ducks actually carry, where does it come from?
He's broken me into bits, and i have nothing to help myself back up now. I miss him, and its only been a day. How pathetic am i?
Our relationship changed, to being the best thing ever, to i have no idea, there are literally no words to explain how it was.
No love?
but we loved each other, well i knew i loved him so much.
he was everything, and i know thats probably dumb to say, but literally he was my first all. My goal setter. My everything. its like when you have your favourite doll, and you never wanna let it go, cause its so adorable, and you wanna show everybody how amazing it is. Well i wanted my relationship to be like that three months ago. It was, then everybody turned there back on him, started disliking him, not liking him being with me. What Happened i asked myself daily.
He hurt me thats what. He didn't know how though, not abuse. Just hurt in ways how he did stuff.
It wasn't nice, i never wanted to think he was hurting me i knew it wasn't on purpose... but now i do think twice.
maybe?
i'm really no sure. I miss him yanno?

i miss the little things, his funny little jokes, how he used to say so good all the time, how he taught me everything.
he was amazing.
we lost it though.
I'm sure the memories will stay stuck with me for along time... i hope.
Although i'm scared for the worst, his ex ex.. she goes to my school.
we hate each other.. so that will be not so good if that happpened again with them.

i love you tj, you'll always have something special in my heart.